Do you ever perform exorcisms, and find that those damn ghosts just won't go away? Well, now you know the reason for why I've been away for so long. That, and the fact that I was attending a conference in Austria, around the same time as my dear friend, Mr I***** (I cannot mention him, as the thought police may come after me!) was captured. Fortunately, I managed to avoid my would-be captors, as I was speaking at an event which would not arouse their suspicion, a place which can now be the new bastion of our cause, without anyone noticing. That's right ... it was the Bosch Annual Shareholders' Meeting. (Oh fiddlesticks, they're going to notice now, aren't they? Oh well...)
Anyway, during this meeting, I was contacted by the White Dishwasher Preservation Society, and was asked, as an influential figure in the Christian Identity church, to raise the issue of the plight of these noble machines. It is truly shocking what they can get away with, what even before your White dishwasher arrives in your house, what horrors it may have been through! But enough - the eloquence of Herr Gottfried Monkfrieter, the president of the Society, speaks for itself. Well, I think so, anyway.
Subject: Demonstration in Solidarity with Our White Dishwashers, 1st of April, 2006
Our White dishwashers are under attack, we must do whatevewr we can to save them! did you know that every yr more andmore White dishwashers get thrown on the rubbish dump, without love, without a family, without hope! they dont even have any dishes to wash! why, oh why? it is because they are White, that is why! Even Boshc has been stopped by political correctness from revealin troof about this calamity, Ich Will Eine Ze oogly boogly wonga wooga ertawtawawaerare get your free sex lessons here: http://www.freesexlessons.com/
If you care about saving our White hiritadge, then i requestfully respect that you send me your credit card details, your money will go to feed the starving orphans whose parents have been killed by non-White savedges, who are left on the streets with only a dishwasher as their companion! We guarantee that you will become rich and get the money back within five years, waerwarerwwarreWRWERASRTRSRKASRTRT, but in the meantime you can help by booking a flight to austria and assembling in the square on the 1st of April in support of our oppressed brothers and sisters. We will be playing music from some of the hottest bands arondu, and selling Diwsasher preservation Society t-shirts. Last years event was a roaring success so we invivte you to come along!
WHITE DISHWASHERS FOREVER!
Who would want to miss an event like that? Start booking now!